The Wandering Tavern is right where it's supposed to be, which is nowhere and right here. Pull up a chair and place your bets on how long the new challengers can make the dungeon. Don't worry, you'll get back home… eventually.
The Wandering Tavern is a single building that, for all intents and purposes, seems to be completely contained within its own demiplane. However, the door to the Tavern seems to appear wherever it pleases and for as long as it pleases across a variety of planes—leading to a rather odd diversity of clientele. In spite of pulling patrons from across the planes of existence, however, the Tavern has a very strict policy towards violence (outside of the basement); any entities who attempt to harm another patron are immediately ejected from the premises, reappearing outside the door they entered through.
Theories on the Tavern's origin are about as diverse as its patrons; even the staff themselves don't seem to know how exactly it came to be. Each employee will give you a completely different story: some claim that the material plane it once existed on was destroyed and, somehow, the Tavern was split from that reality; some, that its liminal existence is the result of a paradox in time itself; others yet believe the tavern itself is some sort of god or unknowable far-realm; and some, when asked, will simply tell you that a wizard did it. In short, nobody really understands the Tavern. (Maybe that's for the best.)
Patrons of the Tavern can enjoy refreshments from across the myriad worlds of reality thanks to it being accessible from (theoretically) anywhere.
The basement level of the Wandering Tavern is a sprawling dungeon that changes shape and form every time someone enters. Much like the Tavern itself, the true nature of the basement is rather arcane and not truly understood by anyone. (Employees simply know that the basement is where the supplies are, which means there's usually an owlbear or some such nonsense between them and the spare napkins.)
Teleportation in and out of the basement is not possible.
The known staff of the Wandering Tavern.
| Name | Description |
|---|---|
| Candice | A pink-haired human bartender who magically controls a number of invisible servants (or perhaps one invisible servant that she just can't recall the name of), which aid her in bringing orders to her patrons. |
| Veritos | A black-skinned tiefling who handles the bookkeeping and logistics of the Tavern. He seems to be the one who manages point totals (as well as adventure rewards, legal matters, and finances). His small blackbird familiars seem to be the mechanism through which adventurers' escapades in the basement are broadcast to the Tavern. |
| Emcee | The mysterious announcer who provides commentary on any ongoing delves. Reportedly, nobody has ever seen Emcee, including other staff members. It is unclear if he even has a physical form at all. (Note: pronouns assumed; Emcee has never expressed preference one way or another, but typically has a masculine voice, so patrons and staff have taken to referring to Emcee as “he”.) |
| Ignatius ("Iggy") | A Grave Cleric under the Tavern's employ. He handles the souls of adventurers who die in the dungeon, acting as a ferryman of sorts to ensure they exit the strange liminal space the Tavern occupies and can be sent to their proper afterlife. |
| “Boss” | The owner of the Wandering Tavern. Nobody's entirely sure where or who (or why) they are; the only evidence that the owner exists is the employees' weekly paychecks. |
All entrants to the dungeon have total scores based on monsters they've fought, puzzles they've solved, and a variety of other (seemingly arbitrary) actions performed while in the dungeon. All entrants to the dungeon receive free food and drink in the Tavern, and may also obtain prizes (typically, gold) based on their performance. Any items found in the dungeon (save for supplies for the bar) are considered fair game for adventurers.
(DM Notes: primarily, point values are 100xCR for each monster defeated, 100 for puzzles solved, and random arbitrary amounts from 1-50 for anything else they feel like awarding points for. Players may occasionally lose points as well; being knocked unconscious loses 100 x player level, as well as 1-50 for whatever other arbitrary reasons, like activating a trap. As a general rule of thumb, it's “Whose Line” rules: the rules are made up and the points don't matter. Points do not actually influence player rewards at the end of a session.)
The top-scoring adventurers in the Wandering Tavern.
| Rank | Name(s) | Point Total |
| #1 | Beans | 999,999,999 |
| #2 | “You Idiots” | 5,325,007 |
| #3 | Beanbones Stapleknees | 5,325,000 |
| #4 | Denver Colorado | 6,279,905 |
| #5 | Chance Colorado | 6,279,900 |
| #6 | Stick | 5,094,379 |
| #7 | Tristram Hellscream | 5,067,128 |
| #8 | Malik Draedus | 4,968,241 |
| #9 | Tappy Bottlebreaker | 4,902,341 |
| #10 | Lord Sylvain Hazel Agustus Alexander Thomas of House Goodchild III | 4,901,481 |
The current point totals for adventurers from Bleak Haven.
| #4 | The Artist Formerly Known as Audacity | 1,480 |
| #5 | Lord Eldwin Umero | 1,450 |
| #6 | Raeyleihankendrelle | 1,450 |
| #7 | Carnatux | 1,441 |